Fickle Tides of Time
by Cap G
Summary: Ranma 1/2 crossover with Final Fantasy I-XII, Chrono Trigger/Chrono Cross! Epic story spanning the sagas of the many video games and the interconnections that bind them subtilely together as the cast of the Ranma 1/2 series are scattered about in time.


Fickle Tides of Time: Working Title VERSION 1.0 written by Cap G

I do not own Ranma ½, Final Fantasy I-XII or Chrono Trigger/Chrono Cross but if you know someone interested in selling maybe? I'm not hearing a no?

Legend:

Speech: "example"  
Thought: 'example'  
Announcement from Electronic: **_"example"  
_**Sound effects: (example)  
Written word: ((example))

* * *

It had sailed far and long through out the cosmos. The magic of it was beyond the torments of the void of space to stop for the time being. There was little that had been beyond it's understanding in these times and while it was indeed aware it felt blind to the worlds it passed. Only one would do and that one was nearing in it's alien perception, and it would prove the perfect match to the essence carried within. Nothing was infront of it but the goal it was set to achieve and it now believed it understood what would come. It saw the fortold world that would be the waystation to the rebirth of it's creators grand civilization.

Deep inside however the ones who hungered were gnawing at it's body. It was not fully aware of the damage they were doing, but only that they had not yet threatened it's cargo's safety. The last of the controls and guides that had been left for it to follow were telling it that the journey was almost over. The shields would last, the wards would hold, and the final fate of all aboard it would be decided. The warden of the stars was told of the arrival as the automatic reawakening was initiated as was planned.

So close to the end and the beginning...

* * *

He lept from roof to roof gliding with his cloak and the dark concealing him from those below. He had come far and perhaps had found her. He possibly had the chance to rescue her as he had failed to do so long ago. He knew he could not even with his great power change the fate of the time and place before him. He was not the errand boy of time, nor was he fit to be a warrior of light. She had been stolen from him long ago and he felt that she was here as she had been before. 'Perhaps to see the source of this magic I hate in action will reveal the truth of the matter, and allow me to learn the way to save her from her fate!'

He lept to the roof of the Cat Cafe and touched down silently, no sound as his feet never actually hit the ground. He tapped the glass of the window with care to wake only the one he sensed behind it. 'Soon it will all happen again just as it has already before...'

* * *

Peaceful and calm was the scene at the Tendo Dojo that morning as the summer sun was shining down upon oft chaotic household. The heat was unbearable and no wind blew but the residents of Nermia ward were somewhat glad to have little of the rain that the ward was famous for. The small summer break was almost over and with little incident of note by the citizens of the area.

"What! Damn you old man!" A shout echoed down the stairwell and through the house heralding another thing that the Nermia ward was famous for.

**_"Sunny morning clouds and high heat, but with a chance of rain in the rest of the day, put a cooler ending to this wonderful summer heat wave as…"_** The Tendo's sat and enjoyed the end of a good breakfast as the news prattled on. Ranma Saotome was just running downstairs having slept in, and realizing that his breakfast was probably long gone.

Having been raised by Genma there was no probably about it. He slid open the door and stepped in dressed in his red Chinese style shirt, and black pants outfit, looking ready to kill. "Come here Pops, so I can brain you! You gotta lot of nerve thinkin you can just eat my food and leave me nothin. Especially since I ain't had a decent dinner in three days!" Ranma glared daggers at the back of his so called father, who was just picking up the last of his own rice to his mouth, while dodging the predictable swipe at his head.

Meanwhile Akane, just grabs the edge of the table, hard enough to leave finger shaped indents. Her angry eyes staring blankly with a slight twitch, as a tell tale blue glow surrounds her. 'What did that Jerk just say?'

Genma smirked leaping away from Ranma over the table, "Foolish boy! If you had kept up with your training, you'd have remembered that a martial artist must be serious in eating as much as possible tooofff…" his sentence ending there as a swift jump kick to the stomach sent the elder Saotome flying into the koi pond.

Ranma smirking, landed before the patio door, and glaring at the Panda and said. "Aw can it, ya old coot! I ain't gonna starve or be poisoned no more, just because you..." (WHAM!) But a table to the back quickly quieted and sent flying the Saotome heir straight into his Father the panda and into the pond as well.

"Will you two just quiet down? This is the third morning in a row! And my cooking was not that bad!" Akane yelled as she had had enough of the two fighting over the table this week. She set the table down and sat in a huff as she thought how stupid those two were being. But especially Ranma!

The Tendo family had lifted their plates and other utensils and dishes from the table, having long since gotten used to the heats effect on the two houseguest/freeloaders during the summer brake. As soon as the table had been reset it was back to the usual day.

Ranma pulled herself out of the water, but before she could do more than say, "What ja do…" she was smacked across the back of the head by a sign reading. ((Not the stomach you ingrate!)) As she and her Father, in panda form, started a late but impromptu sparing match.

"Maybe Kuno Baby, will have his yacht up and running again soon." Nabiki said to no one in particular with a sarcastic smirk, never turning from the T.V. or to stop fanning herself with her small paper fan. She was still hot, even in her pink t-shirt and white shorts. Everyone, except Kasumi, just pretended to ignore her.

"Yes Nabiki, that would be nice! More tea Father?" Kasumi had a very kind smile as she held up the cold tea for her father.

"Oh why thank you Kasumi." Soun smiled while the sounds of the fight escalated behind him.

The Tendo's tuned the sounds of the fight out as Nabiki turned up the T.V. to listen to the news reporter. **_"and in other news a large intergalactic object about three fourths the size of the earths moon, with a reddish brown coloration is coming dangerously close to the earth, and while scientists believe it will miss, there is not a lot of other information on this otherwise unknown object, or how it avoided detection for so long. It is now considered the astrological event of the millennium, it is going to be the second largest thing in the night sky tonight, and will affect tides as it comes past, almost scraping the atmosphere. We will give more information as it develops."_**

"Oh wow. That sound's a little scary." Nabiki stated rather nonchalantly as she attempted to keep herself cool with the small hand fan.

"Yes it does, but they said it was going to miss. So it might be nice just to take a look at it while it passes." Kasumi stated rather innocently. "Oh my! We better start getting ready to go shopping for dinner, Akane." At which she began gathering dishes to take to the kitchen.

"I'll get ready to go. I think I want to try Tuna sushi tonight Kasumi!" Akane smiled as the thought of what she would make to go with her sushi, and not noticing Nabiki and her Father shudder, got to her feet. No one seemed to notice the scream of a Panda and the large crash that signaled the end of the fight.

Nabiki just thought to her self. 'Well that sounds even more scary. I better go get some rations for the night!'

Soun meanwhile had an idea he decided to share. "Well since your going to be out, why don't I get out the telescope again while you're gone? Like during the Tanabato festival last year. When you get done with dinner, you and Ranma can look at the sky tonight. Eh Akane?" Soun chimed in looking over his paper with a smile.

Akane a little embarrassed, "Dad!! I mean… That sounds…"

"Like a stupid idea!" She was cut off in the middle of her reply as Ranma walked in with a kettle in hand and a towel around his neck. "Don't you remember the last time that Macho Chick was star gazing? She fell off the balcony. Next time she might not land on her thick hea…" (Wham!!) Akane's magical mystery mallet slammed Ranma face first into the flooring.

Soun just quietly sobbing retreated behind his paper once more and despaired the joining of the schools continual unlikely hood.

"Who would want to watch it with a Jerk, like you anyway!" She said as she stormed out of the room with and back upstairs. 'That stupid, idiot! I thought he liked watching the stars last year.' She thought to herself as she went to get ready to go shopping with Kasumi.

* * *

Ranma after extricating himself from the flooring and mumbling something about ungrateful tomboys, decided to go to get some free breakfast at the Ucchan. After departing he slowed down on the wall he was walking on and began to think. 'I was just tryin to be considerate. I mean she almost scrambled her brain the last time, with all that star princess stuff she was babbling. I didn't think she'd want to watch somethin like that again anyway.'

But then another thought hit him. 'Oh man! I insulted her cooking right in front a her! Me and my big mouth.'

However distracted he was on his way to the Ucchan, he noticed several people out an about more than usual. They were crowded by what looked to be a small stall that was selling various small items. It was run by a middle aged blond foreign lady who had an incredibly long braid and while she was dressed normally enough she had an oddly, active look indicating some sort of martial arts training or combat ability in her past. Many of the people around the stall were female students at Furinkan High School, and he could see why. Most of the stuff there was jewelry of sorts.

The sales lady's blue eyes looked right at Ranma from his perch on the wall and said. "Come on up boy and don't be shy. I got charms and trinkets for any occasion, and it is buy one get one free today." She had an odd accent and her speech was a little rough but she had to be local as he had heard a lot of cultural inflection. She gave him an appraising smile and turned to answer other customer's questions.

Ranma looked down at the display as he decided to humor the lady, so he leaped down and took a look. Most of the stuff was way too girly, and the few things that were not, were also not his style. But then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw what looked like a small pair of earrings that had little stars made of some sparkling coral colored stone on some silver metal. 'That might be something Akane might like? I think? Course it might also distract her from cooking or star gazing stuff. Sides they look cheap enough… 5,000 yen!' Unfortunately that was the deal breaker for Ranma, but before he could walk away, he had the woman's attention again.

"So ya see anything ya want to get? Like say these earrings for a cute girl ya know? You been lookin awful hard at em!" She smiled again at him, seeming to know the answer already.

"Huh? No! I… Well I… I mean… I wouldn't exactly call her cute, that is. Wait…I..I mean!? No! Argh!" Ranma looked very flustered and was waving his hands in front of himself looking back and forth to check for anyone who might over hear or clobber him.

That's when he noticed that no one else was there but him and this lady. 'How long I been looking here? An where did everybody go? I shoulda noticed so many people leavin. It don't look much later in the day by the sun? Did I zone out or somethin?'

'Wait a second!' He leapt back and looked for the obvious ambush. And he waited a good long minute all the while looking back and forth looking over everything in the area from under the stall, to the other side of the wall, and real closely at the ladies face. 'I don't think it's a mask or nothing.'

Finally he snapped out of it when he heard. "Look are ya just going ta make a lovely lady, such as myself wait in this heat while ya look around all day? Or are ya going to buy somethin from me?" The lady had appeared not to be really upset but simply confused and slightly irritated with a little blush on her cheeks.

Ranma snapped back and bowed a little embarassed, "Sorry bout that, I just got a sinkin suspicion I was being watched or something." He came out of the bow and looked a little more relaxed but still nervous. "I was gonna say, I don't have the money… All I got on me is…" He began examining his pockets because he didn't know what he had actually. '500 yen, a piece of pocket lint, and a…' "Huh? Hey it's another 2,000 yen? I didn't even know I had that! But it still ain't enough though. Sorry again."

Ranma smiled and turned to leave, but she grabbed his arm. 'Wha?? Man I must be outta shape if I couldn't even avoid that!' He just looked back wondering who this lady was.

"Well you're in luck cause I got a policy for slightly broke customers. Half off if I like ya, for your first purchase. And since it's buy one get one free I think I know just the thing to go with them earrings there." Smiling the entire time she dips under the table to pull out a dusty old box with no real mark other than the wood grain. She opens it and inside is a blue colored crystal talisman that seems very old but well taken care of. The blue stone seems to flash red in the sun for an instant. She closes the box and hands it to Ranma with a smile.

Ranma hesitently hand's back the money a little stunned, then smiles. "Uh thanks a lot. Um are you sure bout this? Cause this look's kinda old and it's probably worth…" He notices her just shake her head a bit.

"You know what. You remind me of a boy I knew once. Kept lookin a gift horse in the mouth, till I finally threatened to kick his arse straight to the moons. So don't you worry bout it or I'll give ya somethan to worry about!" She grinned at him and seemed a little wistful but not really angry at all.

Ranma knowing enough to let it drop just said, "Well thanks again!" and started to walk away, 'What a strange lady… I guess I should be grateful.' but looking back every so often and wondering.

However after the third corner, he stopped, and looked at the box, thoughtfully. 'I should take this back. I mean it's gotta cost a fortune!' So he turned around, but by the time he had ran back to the spot the stall had been, she must have some how packed up and left, because she was gone.

* * *

'Damn it all! Why can't I find my way to Nermia? I mean when will I find civilization again? It's been a week since I entered this dense jungle! I could starve before I do!' "Ranma this is all your fault!" He screamed in the crowded street.

"Who is that man Mommy?" a little girl asked. The Mother in question just walked away and tried to quiet the child till she pulled her far enough away from the man in question.

"Wait a minute? Where did the endless expanse of wilderness go?" Ryoga looked around at the cityscape and he seemed to be in some sort of market section of Japan. His eternal confusion at this bewildering to him still, despite his many times experiencing similar situations.

Spotting a near by Fish Market he walked up tiredly to the man at the counter. "Excuse me sir. I was wondering if you knew how to get to Nermia from here?"

"What! You again! I told you the last five times ya damned fool. I ain't telling you again!" The middle aged man erupted with apparent anger. "Now don't come back or I'm calling the police ya got that!"

Ryoga knew he was lost like always. He kept looking for the Tendo Dojo but kept seeming to find the same fish market. 'Well it could be just similar markets.' He had reasoned the first two days. 'Or a chain of stores?' on the third through fifth. But now he believed that the owner was playing tricks on him. 'No it was the same! I think? But I don't remember it being in Kyoto last time.' as they were now refusing to give him help. 'I couldn't have come here five times already I've been wandering for two weeks! Some times I think my sense of direction is getting worse. I mea…'

"Ryoga?" The eternally lost boy snapped from his train of thought, as he looked up to a familiar voice.

"Akane? It is you! I finally found you! And? Kasumi?! But what are you two doing in Kyoto?" Ryoga was elated because when he looked up he had found the prime motivation to keep going in his life. 'Did she come looking for me? With her sister?!'

"Oh its Ranma's friend, Ryoga wasn't it? Would you like to walk with us? I need to buy some sharks fin for some soup, and Akane said she wanted to try to make some sushi tonight. Perhaps you can help us carry the bags?" Kasumi said completely innocently.

"Well sure. That would be great! But why go to Kyoto just to get shark fin? I'm sure there was somewhere to buy it in Nermia. Of course I think I just saw a fish market back there?" Ryoga said still not catching on.

"Uh Ryoga, were in Nermia." Akane said concerned and kindly, while being slightly amused by the lost boys plight, but keeping it in. "But Kasumi is right you should come with us. I would enjoy talking to you and maybe you can come for dinner?"

Ryoga just glazed over in a dreamy state and nodded. "Ssshhh… Sh… Sure…" 'I must have gotten lost in heaven!' Even dazed as he was, he did however manage to keep his eyes on Akane and followed her as they started off. Toward the same fish market that Ryoga had been going to for the past week.

* * *

Suddenly Mousse burst into the Cat Café, glasses resting above his eye's in his hair and arm's wide and with what appeared to be a stuffed monkey in an odd Egyptian dance pose in his right hand and a bag of groceries in the left. "Shampoo… While I was out today I heard there's going to be something in the sky tonight and I bought this telescope so…" He raised the stuffed monkey in front of him, but stopped when he noticed very little sound coming from the café. 'Huh? Usually it's busy about now.' He entered the back and discovered that two blur's, which he identified as an upside down mop, and his darling Shampoo, from her voice were speaking in the storeroom. If they heard him, then they apparently had ignored him.

"But Great Grandmother should Shampoo not go tell Ranma? If is big danger then Airen is sure to protect Shampoo!" Shampoo said looking a little confused at first but believing she was right.

"No child. We will both go to aid Ranma when the time is right, but this is not something I believe that the Future Son in Law, can handle on his own. I have only been convinced of the danger by that strange visitor from earlier today. Had I been able, I would have found a way to tell the village sooner than by telegram, but I fear that dark times are ahead if he spoke the truth." Cologne knew that the robed man had told her a great prophecy but she hoped that he was mistaken. Of course the omens pointed otherwise and one such as her did not live to be three hundred years old unless they where incredibly wise, incredibly lucky, or both. She hoped she was as wise as she thought and that luck was on her side.

"What is this about dark times, from a talking mop?" (Whap!) Mousse walked forward and was whapped in the head as he bent to stare at the mop shaped blur.

"Who are you calling a Mop?!" Cologne was slightly irritated by Mousse showing up, but decided even he would be useful in the fight ahead.

As he pulled himself up he put on his glasses and stared at Shampoo directly, forgetting the pain in his scalp. "Ah Shampoo it is you. Look I bought… Huh? Who replaced my Telescope with this thing?" He quickly dropped the stuffed monkey and adjusting his glasses looked over and saw, "And look there's another one posed on a stick." (Whap!)

"Who are you calling a Stuffed Monkey?" Cologne yelled after she had smacked him again, once more, doubting her last thought of his usefulness.

As Mousse pulled himself up again Cologne began. "Now as I was saying before we are to meet the stranger at the Tendo's home tonight and there will be something of which he assured me we must help stop."

"What is this 'thing' Granny?" Mousse asked now listening very intently.

"Something dangerous boy! So dangerous we will need even the help of the likes of you!" Cologne said with a serious tone that left no room for argument.

"Ok. But you said something about a strange visitor?" Mousse mentioned changing the subject to something that he felt she would answer.

"Aiya, Great Grandma, who is he? Why you believe him so?" Shampoo asked not understanding what could affect Cologne so much.

"Because child he knew things that are forgotten secrets even to most of our tribes Elders. Some of which I have only read of and, in all of the history of our tribe, no male was ever taught these things. Since he could only have been an outsider, there is no way he should know these things." Then Cologne looked them both in the eyes and said. "And I know that I could not beat this man, and yet he asked of us for help!"

* * *

Kodachi sighed and looked down at the scrapbook in her lap as she sat in her vastly comfortable bed. Her room was elegant but dark as the light came in from the window behind her back. All the best shots of her Ranma darling that she had been able to collect. One of her most cherished possessions, and yet, this was the closest she had been to her Ranma, for the whole of summer break. 'I need to go and save my Ranma Darling from those hussies and harridans that have surely been plaguing him in my absence. Now that I have the time from my busy training schedule of course!' "Sasuke!"

Suddenly dropping from the ceiling the Kuno family's loyal ninja knelt before her with full attention. "Yes Mistress Kodachi!" He had already been dismissed by master Kuno who for unknown reasons claimed that he had been summoned to a matter most urgent at the Tendo's Residence and wanted Sasuke to make sure that he was not disturbed. Though without any detailed instructions Sasuke could only monitor Mistress Kodachi. He was truly hoping for non conflicting orders from her so that he could respond when Master Kuno finally did summon him for some errand.

"I want you to deliver a message to my darling Ranma, that I the blooming and beauteous flower of the St. Hebereke School for girls Kodachi the Black Rose Kuno will be coming tonight, to give him a culinary delight on this most auspicious of evenings. Then that we might lie beneath the stars and enjoy that splendor only to be had together, by a man and woman in passionate love." Saying all this as in her mind the scene is set in a balcony of a beautiful building and the meal forgotten as they stare into each other's eyes the starlit sky with a full moon above giv…

"Uhm, Mistress? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, it appears that your Brother will also have business at the Tendo residence this very evening, so perhaps…" Sasuke decided that if he could convince her to delay till tomorrow that he might avoid disaster.

"What! So Brother Dear believes that he is going to ruin my wondrous night on this oh so special occasion? Well he is sorely mistaken! Come Sasuke! We will now have to teach my dear Brother a lesson!" Her trademark laugh followed as she twirled her ribbon leaping out her window with black rose petals going every where.

"Special Occasion? What is she talking about?" As Kodachi's laugh faded there was the muffled sound of a two way radio from Sasuke's hood. **"Shhhk… Sasuke! Shhhk…"** Kuno's voice came through just as his sisters had in his other ear. 'Why they just can't add come here as well, I'll never know.' But now he knew he needed to respond to both commands and he was going to have to juggle this carefully. As he leapt off with his Mistress and leading her toward where he knew his Master was, but with some intentional delays.

* * *

Having summoned his vassal to his side Tatewaki Kuno was very sure that he would soon have everything in place. "Fortune favors the bold they say, and who is more favored than I, Tatewaki Kuno!" Kuno smiled roguishly as he brushed the hair from his face. "Of course my noble barring does demand no less. For tonight my bold action will win me the hand of both Akane Tendo and the Pig Tailed Girl. And that villainous cur Saotome shall suffer for his horrendous sorceries against them both." Thus he tacked his message to the large wooden doors, and set off to prepare further for the evenings events.

Of course having already left his reply on the door of the Tendo Residence he had decided to find a suitable present for his beloveds, in response to their call for his presence as their rescuer this evening. Wandering into the shopping center he just so happened to be in a flower stall of the market when he saw the wisp of a pig tail, enter a nearby building quaintly titled the Ucchan. Well perhaps providence had smiled on him. He would confront the owner of said pig tail and confirm whether it was his unworthy rival, once he had decided on the number of rose bouquets he wished to present to his beloveds.

* * *

Ranma smiled at the shade as he walked into the air conditioned restaurant and he shouted. "Hey ya Uc-chan." Seeing Ukyo serving a few early lunches to the shoppers who had stopped in.

"Hey there Ran-Chan! Pull up a chair. I'll be with ya shortly." Ukyo grinned, and was glad to see that Ranma was in a good mood. She had been feeding the starving boy most every morning this week, and was hoping that this was a good sign. 'I really wish he'd stop eating Akane's cooking. How am I supposed to marry him if he's found dead one day?' She kept working on the other costumers orders, and would have Ranma's done very quickly.

"Hey Ranma." "Hey Saotome." Hiroshi and Diasuke where there and pulled up next to Ranma at the bar. "So are ya here to visit Ukyo?" Hiroshi asked rather innocently but with a kind of cocky knowing smile on his face.

"Um, sort of." Ranma whispered back even though he did not catch the full meaning of the words or the looks on Hiroshi's and Diasuke's faces. Then he thought. 'Oh yeah! Maybe I should ask them?'

Looking over at Ukyo and waving them into a huddle to whisper. "Hey guys. I jus got this and… Well… What do ya think?" And he reached into his pocket and produced the box with the jewelry inside.

"Kinda a crummy box!" Diasuke said as he looked up from eating to which Hiroshi just said, "Who tricked you into buying this thing?" looking rather puzzled.

"Not the box! What's inside! An be quiet! I don't want Ukyo ta see!" Ranma managed to keep it fairly quiet but knew that he might be taking a big risk. Still he needed advice if he didn't want to give Akane a dud gift.

Hiroshi giving a knowing look, and with a slight nod took the box while opening it under the counter with Diasuke looking over his shoulder.

"WOW Ranma this must have been real expensive… I think those gem's are real. How did you get these?" Hiroshi said, slightly loud.

"Shesh Saotome that can't be real. Where did you get it?" Diasuke just commented as he turned smiling but kind of nonchalantly back to his food.

"Look I'll tell you guys later! Right now I want to know do ya think its any good?" He said trying to reach for the box under the counter in a somewhat stealthy manner.

"I'm sure Ukyo will love them Ranma, don't…" Hiroshi started to trail off as Ranma shook his head back and forth panic written in his eyes.

"You're sure I'll love what Hiroshi?" She said as she dropped off Ranma's lovingly made heart shaped Okonomiyaki special, as she smiled at Ranma and the other two.

"Uh? What he meant to say is? I mean?" Ranma having just blanked out looked over at the two supposed friends with eye's both annoyed and begging for a way out of this as he stuttered his way deeper and deeper.

Hiroshi saw it, clenching the box under the bar and desperately thinking, but before he could say anything, Daisuke just looking up from his food said, "Ranma brought something! It looked like a present of sorts don't you think so Hiro...sh...i…?!" then however, too late! Looking over at Hiroshi, noticed the look that said, 'I think we should go before something worse happens?' and Daisuke, wisely giving only the slightest of nods as agreement.

"A present for me? Oh Ranma Honey I knew you cared! And to think I thought you only wanted free food from me, but now you show me you do care." Many people in the background begin to cheer and clap at the entertaining moment. "So what is it?" Ukyo smiled and while completely lost in the moment did not notice the looks of fear and desperation in Ranma, and nervous forms of Hiroshi stuffing something down in his backpack while slow stepping away, and Diasuke sliding out of his seat as well, for what they truly were.

Ranma once more looked over at them with a pleading gaze as if a mouse being toyed with by a rather large and hungry looking cat. "Ah well... I... It's not... Guy's?"

And on that cue, Hiroshi, "Oh and will you look at the time! Sorry Ukyo we gotta run. Come on Daisuke. Let us know how it turns out Ranma. We'll come by later!" with Daisuke simply adding. "Oh yes we are late aren't we! See ya!" both slapping money on the counter and leaving small tandem dust trails as the only visible sign of their passing except a shout of a familiar voice in the door way.

'I'm doomed!' Ranma now left giftless and mentally stuck began to sweat as he looked back to find he was now under the full brunt of his Cute Fiance's attentions...

"You insolent wretches! You dare trod upon the personage of the Blue Thunder! Were my presence not demanded elsewhere…" He had been distracted by his preparation for his grand entrance. But Kuno undeterred by his nemesis's minions obvious ploy, strode through the doorway, and began looking around, until his eyes settled on one Ranma. "Saotome!"

At that instant Ranma in a moment of inspiration saw his salvation walk in. 'Yes Kuno! I can't fight here. I just got to get the jerk, to start fightin, and I got an excuse to get out of here!'

Kuno's eyes stared with hatred at his lowly rival, "Well if it isn't the vilest of…" but his prepared speech would go no further this time.

Ukyo noticed the odd way Ranma was staring at Kuno, and began waving her hand in front of his face. "Hey Ranma Honey! Snap out of it! You were about to… Ahh!" Ranma wasn't noticing. But Ukyo jumped as he snapped to his feet!

Ranma smiled real big as he lept from his seat and ran straight at the jerk in question yelling in hyper-speed. "What'sthatKuno!What?Yawannafightme.GeeIdon'tknow?Ok!"

Eye's opening wide in horror, "Has your demonic madness finally overcome yomff!" Kuno shrieked till the apparently crazed Ranma, ran smiling toward him and, (Crack!! Crash!) with a dropkick to Kuno's face sent him flying out the door and into the mail box across the street.

Kuno got up and gazed into the battle hungry eyes of Ranma Saotome and did the only logical thing. Declare his honorable intentions, and then make a very quick retreat, to prepare for the coming duel! "Look you uncultured savage, I only came to confirm the time of your noble vanquishing! I… Ehahhh!" (Crunch!) Kuno screamed as he avoided the jumping punch that turned the cement light post into rubble. He then started that said retreat shouting. "Ahhh, Sasuke! Sasuke! Why doesn't he answer? SasukaaaAaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"

Quickly following after Ranma began yelling in an oddly happy tone after his unwitting savior. "Come on Kuno, you know ya want ta… What is it? Smote me or somethin!"

Ukyo looking at odd scene recovers in time to jump over her bar and follow to the door way. "Ran-Chan! Wait! I thought you had something for me? I can't… leave till break." Ukyo looking a little disheartened and slightly perturbed as her oddly behaving fiancé faded into the distance, and then looked across at what used to be a public mail box. Or at least an unconscious very familiar cross-dressing boy disguised as a mail box. Lifting him into a trash can, she drew out her battle spatula and (Kathwang!) sent Tsubasa flying into the darkening clouds of the distant horizon as lightining flashed and thunder rang out. "After the lunch rush, I think it may be time to close up and find out just what happened... And to make sure Ran-Chan gives me my gift!"

* * *

Happosai had been stumbling happily still drunk from the festivities of last nights success, as he mumbled to himself secure in his belief that none of the former owners of his aquired garments were following him. "With... Hic! Ranma always... Hic! Sick after eating Akane's cookin... Ugh... Hic! I can get a... away with... all... Hic! the silky darlings in town! Heh heh!" He mumbled to himself as he swayed slightly as he marched down the bridge.

"Huh?! Is that? Hic!" Happosai intelligently stated as he lept over the screaming boy in the kendo outfit landing on the bridge fence railing. "Was that Ku-(Wham!)-mouf!!" Of course as he watched the trailing form he lept back toward the street just in time to turn and catch a very familiar knee to the face.

As he lay on the ground he saw a shower of his precious plundered panties was blurry in his eyes as they flew one and all from his bag into the river below causing him to leap to his feet an stare through the fence. "Noooooooo!! My silky darlings! Hic! They can't swim! Nooooo! Arrraggghhh! Ranma how dare yo... (Whap! Thud!) oof!"

A quick kick to the head knocked the drunken pervert to the cement. "Hey watch it you perverted old freak, and it serves ya right! Now stay outta my way!" Ranma quickly turned to run after the trailing dust cloud that was Kuno worried that the sounds of pursuit he had heard were from Ukyo following him.

Happosai's aura began to glow with the burning fire of vengence as he began to stir lifting his head from the crater in the concrete. "Ra... Ranma your master commands yo..."

"There you are you letch!"

Happosai looked up into the faces of the various women that had surrounded him. He thought he had lost them all hours earlier but here they were with their various instruments of pain. "Hic! Um so uh... You ladies willing to forgive an old m... (Whap! Smack! Pow! ect. ect.)

The sounds of violence, shouts of rage, and cries of pain continued for many minutes, as the women took their rightous vengence upon the shrunken master of perversion. "See I told ya girls! We follow Ranma, we find the freak!"

Before unconciousness took him however he had managed to hold onto only one thought. 'Oh Ranma! You will most definitely pay for this!!'

* * *

After hearing several panicked shouts through his ear piece, Sasuke was leading Mistress Kodachi toward the blip on the small screen that indicated Master Kuno, and as he landed on the street to get his bearings, he found he was not making much progress, as Master Kuno was moving very fast and very erratically.

"Sasuke! Why have we stopped? Is my Dear Brother nearby?" Kodachi in her school uniform twirled her ribbon absently in perfect rotations.

'Maybe this tracking device is busted? I need to stop for a while and rest. But how do I convince Mistress Kodachi? Wait? That might work!' "Mistress Kodachi. I just thought that, perhaps since we know that the Master is heading to the Tendo's we should wait there for him to arrive?"

Kodachi looked over at Sasuke with a delighted gleam in her eye. "Yes I suppose your right Sasuke. My Brother, as befitting a Kuno can be quite crafty when he wishes to be discreet. Besides, how will I ever prepare the feast in time to amaze and delight my Darling Ranma unless I begin soon?"

"What?" 'Did it work?' He smacked himself. 'That hurt! So she did listen!' Sasuke was elated, as a little him danced with paper fans in victory. "Thank you Mistress! Oh Thank…"

"And while I prepare you will go to gather all of the necessary ingredients for the feast for my Darling and I." Kodachi said as if without a care, and reached into her blouse and pulled out a rolled scroll, tossing it at Sasuke. "This is the list of Items I require, and I expect them to be quickly delivered to me! Or else!" Then with out pause she unleashed her trademark laugh and leapt toward the Tendo Residence, just as a lighting bolt struck in the cloudy sky above.

"Yes Mistress Kodachi." The exhaustion evident in his voice, Sasuke's shoulders sagged while he watched, as the scroll unfurled like a banner with print covering almost every inch of it… Front and back… 'Why me?'

* * *

While they were finally on their way back, having just left the fish market, Ryoga couldn't help but think back on how the day's shopping had almost gone horribly wrong if not for Kasumi's guidance of Akane

--Flash Back--

"I thought I told you not to come back here boy!" The poor middle aged man shook with visible anger.

Ryoga looked over shocked at who ever was addressing him. "Who me?" The man's head went up and down in confirmation. "I'm sorry but I don't think I've ever been here before." Ryoga said to the very unfamiliar man.

"Wha… I… You!" As he sputtered his words, the flames of his anger rose behind him, but as he turned to grab the phone he spotted Akane, and Kasumi standing next to the delinquent in question. "Kasumi? An Akane Tendo? What are you doing here with this hoodlum?"

"What hoodlum? Oh you must mean Ryoga! Oh he's just a friend of Akane's who's helping us carry our groceries." Kasumi said in her ever so pleasant manner.

Giving Ryoga the evil eye, he simply said while shuffling backward never once looking away or blinking. "Well you girls just call me if you need me!"

Akane looked at Ryoga. "So uh, seems like you've been here before?"

"Nah… I just get that a lot! Course last time something like this happened I think it was in another fish market!" Ryoga blushing slightly as he tried to keep up the small talk.

"Hey wait right here Ryoga! I think I see something I want to ask you about." Akane walked past Ryoga, who froze in place.

"Sure Akane!" 'Oh Akane… Is this what it would be like if we were a couple?' Ryoga drifted out into a dreamscape of an older, him and Akane walking hand in hand over a mangled unconscious Ranma… buying fish together while the man at the counter shared in their blissful laughter while a disheveled Ranma looked in through the window… them at the Dojo, with Ryoga eating a piece she fed to him with her chopsticks while their children watched, while Ranma was fishing out of the koi pond… He was jerked out of the daze by Akane's voice however.

"So Ryoga, Kasumi, which of these would you recommend for some sushi? They both look interesting!" Akane held up a King Crab and a Toxic Fugu Blow Fish.

Kasumi looked at both options and with a smile…

Now it is time once more for a section we here like to call…

What Is Kasumi Really Thinking Of?

At the moment Kasumi saw Akane's selections she saw for the "Crab" this scene in her mind.

_"Emergency call in from the Tendo residence, we have four unresponsive choking victims and a fifth who is an ugly dwarf from the description…"_

_"I can't clear the obstruction! It's some crab shell, but it's like it's stuck in there with glue. I can't free my hand!"_

_"Doctor let him go, you can't save him it was just the boys time, it was all their time."_

_"Tell me why… Why does it never get any easier?"_

_"And the dwarf? So no one is claiming the body? I see!"_

_"I'm sorry Miss Tendo there was nothing we could do!"_

_"Miss Akane Tendo! We're with the police and we just want you to know, that we will be keeping an eye on you!"_

_"We are here today to mourn the passing of the Saotome's Ranma and Genma, and the Tendo's Nabiki and Soun… Oh and a small unidentified person of diminished stature."_

And for the "Fugu"…

_"Emergency call in from the Tendo residence, we have four unresponsive poisoning victims and a fifth who is an ugly dwarf from the description…"_

_"I can't clear the passage, the throat is to swollen! It's more than just Fugu toxin, they aren't responding to treatment. What smells like furniture polish?"_

_"Doctor let him go, you can't save him it was just the boys time, it was all their time."_

_"Tell me why… Why does it never get any easier?"_

_"And the dwarf? So no one is claiming the body? I see!"_

_"I'm sorry Miss Tendo there was nothing we could do!"_

_"I'm sorry Miss Tendo but no one buys Fugu, from the fish market and accidentally kills five people! I'm afraid your sisters coming with us."_

_"A bad cook? Your honor what kind of an anime based defense are we expecting these people to swallow? Forgive the pun!"_

_"I sentence you to five consecutive life terms Akane Tendo and may the Kami have mercy on your soul"_

_"We are here today to mourn the passing of the Saotome's Ranma and Genma, and the Tendo's Nabiki and Soun… Oh and a small unidentified person of diminished stature."_

Thus ends another chapter of...

What Is Kasumi Really Thinking Of?

… And with a smile Kasumi says. "But Akane, I thought that you were going to go with Tuna, so I have been buying things to complement that dish. Also those are very expensive and we don't have quite enough just now. How about we save those two for another dinner, ok?" Only a large sweat drop on the back of her head giving any hint of her inner turmoil.

Ryoga was unable to reply intelligently so he simply stated, "Uh... What she said!" and forced a weak smile at the end.

Akane smiled a little embarrassed and said. "Sorry Kasumi. I guess I just got carried away, because you said you thought I was ready for sushi." She went to put the two selections back and to find the Tuna

--End of Flash Back--

'I know Akane tries her best, but it was a good thing Kasumi was there. Besides don't you have to have a license to even prepare Fugu? Of course if Akane made it I would try her Fugu.' Ryoga looked ahead over the many bundles he was carrying, glad to watch the girls ahead talk about what they would do in the kitchen a sort of glazed look in his eyes.

"…Ok Ryoga? Hey Ryoga?"

Suddenly he came to attention noticing Akane looking back at him. "Yes Akane?" 'Oh god she's looking back at me! She's talking to me and she's smiling. But wait, what did she just say? I wasn't listening because I was too excited to focus. Just nod yes to what ever and ask if she's sure.' Ryoga nod's and says. "AreyousureAkane?"

"Uh, yeah… It is starting to look like rain and I forgot my umbrella, so can you share yours with me, since Kasumi has hers?" Akane asked with a kind smile.

Ryoga so elated that in a feat of supernatural effort balanced all the bundles between one hand and his mouth and retrieved his umbrella with the other hand in the blink of an eye snapping it open. He however lost any sort of composure when the thought hit him that he and Akane would have to be extremely close for the umbrella to cover them both. He was blushing bright red as Akane came under the umbrella, only to realize that the bundles in his arms prevented any sort of closeness.

"Ryoga is there any way I could ya know, get under the umbrella? I can't seem to get around the packages." Akane was blocked and Ryoga heard the thunder up above.

'Oh no! What do I do? If I cover Akane, I'll get wet and she'll know I'm P-Chan. But if I cover my self I lose any chance to impress Akane and she'll get soaked.' Ryoga looked up, and then over at Akane and Kasumi. 'Wait! That's it!'

Looking excitedly over at Kasumi, he grabs both her and Akane's bundles, and stacks them so that he can still see out a small gap and in a confident but strained voice says. "You know what… Akane… I bet I'm strong enough… To carry… All of these… While… You and Kasumi use… Her umbrella!" And with a final adjustment of turning his head to the side he grabs the umbrella handle in his teeth. "Shee! Itsh noth… Ah pothem… Ackeni!"

"Oh my! Ranma's friend is so considerate, isn't he Akane." Kasumi said wearing a very happy smile.

"I'm sure you don't have to take all of them Ryoga. Me and Kasumi…" Akane said staring at the vastly uncomfortable looking lost boy.

His strength recharged by the concern of Akane, Ryoga wouldn't hear of it, and felt like he was carrying nothing. "Ife goth ipt Ackeni! Doahth worthe aboth mi!" Ryoga said through the small gap in his grocery bundle prison. The next hour of walking was the happiest Ryoga could ever remember!

* * *

Thunder struck obviously near by as the house shook as it did. The clouds had been gathering but the lightining and thunder were the only sign of the storm overhead so far, but the o-zone smell was more noticeable in the air so it would rain soon most likely

"Ha! I got ya now Tendo!" Genma said looking at Soun rather slyly.

Nabiki had been ignoring them for hours as she came down to get a snack and balance some of her books.

"You know Saotome, I've been thinking!" Soun said while looking at the board very seriously.

"About what Tendo?" Genma said knowing it was about Ranma and Akane, and looking at his friend with interest.

"I may have a solution to all the fiancés that Ranma has and how to join the schools." He said looking up to look Genma in the eye.

Nabiki looked up and decided to pay attention until she noticed something. 'False alarm. Those two need to get a better hobby!' Annoyed with one eye twitching she turned her head back to the figures.

"Really Tendo! Do tell!" Genma was drooling with excitement. A few drops went by unnoticed in the koi pond surface as the two focused on their game.

"Well I've heard mind you... That in America, there are people who have a faith, which allows them to have more than one wife. They are called Mormons." Soun said gauging Genma's reaction with intense scrutiny.

"I see Tendo. So either my Son's many fiancés will all marry into his new Mormon life style, and the schools will be joined, with him producing many heirs, and fulfilling all the honorable agreements! I can't believe you're up for this Soun my boy!" Genma smiled widely at him.

(Click!) "Oh, I'm not really, it was just an idea Saotome, and it's your move!" Soun said looking down with his calm face, at the last of the many moves he had made during his distraction.

Genma looked down at the board with stunned look, 'How could I have fallen for that?' and now noticed the dire predicament he found himself in. Meanwhile the rain began to pour down in earnest but a faint (knock) was heard at the door.

"I'll get it." Nabiki said wanting to see if something more interesting or profitable had arrived.

(Knock, Knock, Knock.) "I'm coming." Nabiki said before she reached the door. She opened it, "Oh hello Auntie Nadoka. Come inside... Uh Ranma is!"

"Oh hello Nabiki! And I just read, isn't it exciting?" She asked as she walked in taking off her shoes and closing the umbrella that she had with her.

"Uh read what Auntie?" Nabiki hated playing dumb when Nadoka came but this time something was up! And a couple charges to Ranma and his Father should go a long way toward improving her disposition toward acting the part. Besides if they died there went her biggest source of income!

"I read it in this challenge acceptance letter I found posted on the door. My son will prove how manly he is by fighting for the hand of both Akane and this Pig Tailed Girl who I can only assume must be Ranko! But I thought Akane was his fiance and was who he was interested in? Are he and Ranko close as well?" Nadoka was just plain happy and waited on baited breath to see her son.

"Uh… Sure... Their close… Hey Auntie, may I see that note?" Nabiki held her composure while she looked innocently unaware.

"Why certainly. I expect you have been waiting for this and it is very last minute for such an event. This Kuno person certainly has a flare for the dramatic, but it seems he doesn't think too highly of Ranma. I wonder why for? I mean Ranma from what you've all said is very manly!"

Nabiki as she read just smiled while holding back laughter. 'Boy I don't envy Ranma trying to solve this one. And this letter that Kuno Baby describes getting is very odd? I better find out who sent this supposed rescue letter to Kuno! They might want other dirt on Ranma!' Having finished reading looked up to answer. "Well you know… Manly honor, duels and trying to impress the girls… Why don't you come in and I'm sure my Father can explain everything more clearly than I can!" Nabiki just turned and smiled weakly. 'This is going to be amusing!'

"Father it's Auntie Nadoka! She's here to, (Splash!) see Ranma's! Duel! Here! Tonight!" She stated with just enough emphasis as she walked in. She then took her seat and waited for the inevitable line of scrambling lie's to start.

((Hello again someone else's wife!)) Mr Panda is on his back with a sign in one paw and a tire in all the rest...

"Ah… Why hello Ms Saotome." He greeted Nadoka but looked over to Nabiki. "But uh what is all this about a duel Nabiki?"

"Oh Daddy! Don't tell me you forgot! And here you sent those invites for the event. Lucky for you auntie found the acceptance letter so you can get back on track." Nabiki just smiling and being the epitome of calm reached across the table and handed the letter to her nervous looking father.

--\/--

((To Akane Tendo and the Pig Tailed Girl! I am honored and blessed to have received this summons to defend you and once and for all rid you of the accursed sorcerer Saotome! Thus I accept your call in the name of love most pure shared between us. And as requested I shall do such before both of your eye's, per the terms, so as there is to be no doubt. I shall only pray that this battle be short so that I might spend but one more moment in sweet contemplation of our bliss together. I shall arrive at precisely eight o'clock. Until that blessed hour, my loves… Sincerely yours: Tatewaki Kuno!))

--/\--

"Duel? Ah… Yes! The duel! I'm sorry you did not receive your invite in time… Nadoka. It is an honor for you to come this evening." 'Why didn't some one tell me this was going on?' Soun lamely smiled sweat forming at his brow. "The weather look's a bit rough though so ah… We will…" He was thinking hard, trying to find a way to salvage the situation. But as he was trying to find an excuse, his partner in this honorable venture, was no help as he was still playing with a tire in his furry disguise.

(Knock! Knock! Knock!) "I'll get it!" Soun leapt to his feet avoiding the polite attention of his hopefully future Sister in Law. He quickly walked out of the room trying to think of how to handle the situation! Opening wide the door. "Hello!?"

* * *

Ranma was under the overhang of a small but familiar building. The clouds had become rather dark and he had abandoned chasing Kuno long ago to avoid the rain, (Growl!) and to hope to think of somewhere to eat for free. "Uh… I'm starvin! I just hope the Doc has some food. I haven't eaten anythin all day!" He knocked gently against the door and heard foot steps coming.

"One moment please!" Doctor Tofu, having just hung up the phone cleared his head as quickly as he could. He had no idea who would be making a visit this late in the day but he was in a good mood. He currently had just made plans for today but he wouldn't be too late if he hurried. 'Probably Miss Osikai! She usually has problems during stormy days!' Quickly cleaning his glasses he opened the door. However he found instead of elderly Miss Osikai, a young Ranma Saotome at the door. "Oh why hello Ranma! You don't look injured? Is there something I can do for you this evening?"

"Hey Doc! Uh, now that ya mention it, I was kinda wondering if maybe I could, I don't know, get some shelter and maybe, ask ya for something to eat? I haven't eaten all day!" Looking at Tofu with his umbrella and sandals on he stopped that train and quickly changed tracks. "Oh are ya going some where Doc?" Ranma was trying to be polite and figured that this was his unsuccessful last resort. By the small amount of red light he gathered that it had to be close to at least six o'clock. 'Akane should be starting to cook about now. I guess there's no avoidin it! Ah well I…' But just then Doctor Tofu spoke up!

"Oh yes I was Ranma! I was just going out to eat and I am sure that some company there would be nice!" Tofu seemed ecstatic at the prospect which confused Ranma slightly.

"You sure Doc? I mean I don't want to impose or nothin! I mean I eat a lot, and especially right now." Ranma scratched the back of his head nervously and (Growl!!) was embarrassed as his stomach complained about his back peddling. 'Guess I may just avoid poisoning tonight!'

After hearing that Tofu smiled. "Ranma don't worry about it. I'm a little nervous and need to talk to someone to calm myself. Now let's go get something in that belly before you collapse!"

Ranma was happy to begin walking, even while sharing the umbrella, and after about fifteen minutes he noticed that they were heading away from the nearer restaurants and further toward the residential area. "Hey Doc. Are you lost or something?"

"What? Oh no Ranma we only have another few blocks to go!" Tofu looked at him oddly. "Don't worry. I know the way…"

"Okay Doc! You just tell me when." Ranma wasn't going to argue with free eat's and decided to ask another question as he could only think about his currently empty stomach. "So what are we gonna have to eat Doc?"

"Oh! Well I guess we will both find out when we get there!" Doctor Tofu smiled as thunder rolled over head. So far the umbrella was as useless as it would have been the rest of the day as the rain had stopped shortly after they had left, but it threatened any moment to come again.

"Guess it doesn't matter too much? As long as the food is good!" Ranma said while looking at nothing in particular. As the thunder died down he heard some sort of shouting and commotion. 'Huh? Sound's like there's some kinda party going on nearby!'

"I know it will be good and speaking of which here we are." Tofu exclaimed stopping and turning…

Stopping and turning to face the wide open, double door's of the Tendo Dojo. As they walked in, Ranma's head just turned ever so slightly to blankly stare at the now some what less composed Doctor Tofu… "You mean your eating here tonight!" 'Why can't I just get something to eat that won't kill me? Wait a minute? All that noise is coming from inside! What's going on?'

Tofu just looked over his glasses slightly steamy and fingers twiddling rapidly. "I thought you knew Ranma? Well look on the bright side! From the sound of it there will be plenty of food cooked… by… Kasumi…" And from that point he was in Kasumi land.

Ranma just walked in and shouted… "I'm home! And I…" (Splash!) Then yelled. "Eeeyahh! What did ya do that for?" She looked sharply toward the perpetrator annoyed and confused and then immediately frightened.

It was Akane who seemed to be boiling over with some sort of unreleased fury, and it was going straight from her eye's and drilling into Ranma's as she stood there stunned with a nervous, confused look on her face. "Oh hey everybody, Ranko's here!" Akane shouted it very condescendingly. She charged in fists drawn back, "Glad you could join the Party!" (Wham!) And her punch sent Ranma flying into the wall across the street from the gates. She quickly noticed that Ranma had not arrived alone and turned shocked to face Doctor Tofu. "Oh Doctor Tofu? I didn't see you there!"

"Oh hello Akane! I was just saying to Kasumi that the sky is making her look rather pale this evening!" Tofu was currently gesturing toward the paper panels of the door. "By the way have you seen Ranma. He was just here a minute ago?"

"Um!? He went on in to?! Uh?! To go tell Kasumi you're here! Let's go in and I'll take you to talk with her." Akane slightly embarrassed guided the doctor toward where he should go.

Ranma however was still twitching splayed on the wall only able to think of two things, 'Ow!' and, 'What did I do this time?' then promptly fell off.

* * *

End of first chapter! Review's comments and good/bad criticism welcome and expected while sheer hatred should be cast into the bottomless pit that I throw my rejected ideas into... You know the one!


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